“Just being available and attentive is a great way to use
listening as a management tool. Some employees will come in, talk for twenty
minutes, and leave having solved their problems entirely by themselves." — Nicholas V. Luppa
Ask any group of leaders to think of someone they admire – someone who
has been a mentor to them. Then ask what that person did that was most
meaningful and helpful. “Listening” frequently tops the list.
And yet those same leaders will complain bitterly about a team member
who isn’t on board – who acts in passive aggressive ways and causes frustration
for the entire team.
Remarkably, once they open their ears and listen, they discover someone
waiting to be heard.
If listening is so highly valued, why don’t leaders do it more often?
Here are some excuses – see if any of them resonate with you:
“I’m too
busy. If I have to wait for every one on my team to get around to making a
point, we’ll never get anything done around here.”
“I’m
afraid of what I’ll hear. Someone might make a suggestion and things will
spiral out of control.”
“No one
but me has all the facts. I know what needs to be done and it would be
easier if we just do it.”
“I
already know what this person will say. We’ve had this conversation many
times.”
And yet we know, not
only from our own experiences with mentors and leaders but also from the
leadership literature, that people who feel heard and valued are much more
likely to contribute value to the team and the organization.
So, what are the
benefits when people feel they have been heard?
Loyalty:
See my note about the most admired mentors and leaders who are great listeners.
People will follow them anywhere and work hard for them.
Motivation:
People are energized when they feel they’ve contributed something
meaningful to the process.
Problem-solving:
See the quote by Nicholas Luppa at the top of the article. People often
have a solution that needs to bubble to the surface.
Retention:
When people feel valued, they are more likely to stick around rather than pack
up their intellectual capital and take it elsewhere (where people listen to
them).
Strong
relationships: The more listening, the more accumulated trust, and the
easier it gets the next time around. I Promise!
Focused Leadership is a book which provides you a synopsis of the approach I diligently crafted, refined and applied in order to get the leadership results I desired over my 30-year career leading large and small organization in Fortune 500 companies as well venture capital backed start-ups. In Focused Leadership I have incorporated a series of informative and concise discussions regarding my leadership approach, which I now call the “10-Step Approach to Leading and Winning”.
Step 8: Have the Courage to Make the Right Decisions
One of my
favorite leadership quotes is one that is attributed to Winston Churchill. It
states, “Courage is what it takes to
stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.”
Throughout my
career, I have been both a practitioner and a student of leadership. I have
read almost every book on leadership that I have been able to get my hands on.
Most of the contemporary literature on leadership focuses on leadership styles,
characteristics, principles, traits, models, etc. Much of the literature offers
a great deal of historical insight, comparisons and advice. However, what I
have found to be most intriguing is how the virtue of “courage” seems to be
omnipresent. Aristotle once called courage the first virtue and alluded to the
fact that courage is the virtue which makes all of the other virtues possible.
I believe that
in addition to being the most important human virtue, when it comes to
organizational performance and success --- courage is also the most important
virtue of an effective leader.
The reason I
have been such a fan of the Winston Churchill quote mentioned above is that I
have learned that in the context of leadership, courage is both a “verb” and a
“conjunction.” It takes a certain brand of courage to execute both the “gives”
and the “takes” required to get the best results for the entire organization. Effective team and organizational leadership is
about being able to synergistically blend talent and get the most out of
diverse human experiences. In order to make this approach to leadership work
for everyone involved, you must possess the brand of “courage” that allows you
to not only fearlessly “stand up and speak” but to also fearlessly “sit down and listen.”
In addition, Focused Leadership is characterized by
an intense focus on decision making which complements this brand of courage. As
leaders, we are not strangers to decision making. However, we all find
ourselves, at times, faced with the need to make a decision that is right for
our team but challenging for others (and maybe ourselves) to swallow. I can
recall scores of decisions I have made over my career which fall into this
category. They all, at the time, seemed to take on the dimensions of “life or
death” decisions. However, in hindsight, I recall that every decision that
landed “on the side of the team as a whole” turned out to be the right
decision.
As a part of
your effort to become a more effective leader, you should strive to have the
brand of courage required to make decisions that are best for your team and
your organization’s success.
HAVE THE COURAGE TO MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS
Earl Cobb is
the author of "Focused Leadership: What You Can Do Today to Become a
More Effective Leader", and an American “rags-to-riches” success story. Through his
hard work, dedication and faith, Earl has forged an accomplished career as a
systems engineer, project/program manager, and gifted entrepreneur. He is also
a highly respected senior management executive. He has enjoyed over twenty-five
years of success within Fortune 100 companies including Honeywell,
Inc., Motorola, Inc. and Wells Fargo Bank. He is the former President
and CEO of MedContrax, Inc.
You can contact Earl at earl@richerlifellc. You
can find his website at www.richerlifellc.com
As a leader, do you use a window/mirror approach? This is a meaningful question for authentic and effective leaders to ask themselves. When things are going well, and goals are being met or exceeded, a compelling leader will use the window approach. The window approach transpires when a leader points out the window and says, “look out there… they did it… they are the reason for our success!” On the contrary, when there is a failure or let down, the leader with integrity holds up the mirror and says, “I am responsible. Where did I fail to communicate, motivate, understand, or explain?”
When using the window/mirror approach, it is important for leaders to know their intrinsic as well as their extrinsic motivations. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be valued and appreciated for the work you have done (and for some leaders this is an important source of motivation). Nevertheless, it becomes your responsibility to share the glory once you step into the leadership role.
As leaders, let’s hold up the mirror with the following questions:
Have I ever taken credit when I shouldn’t have?
Were there times when I had the opportunity to share the glory and chose not to?
Have I ever pointed the finger at someone or something for a failure or a mistake?
What are three action steps I will take to use the window/mirror approach in my leadership?
Who can be an “accountability partner” to help me make sure that I am following through with these new leadership behavior patterns?
If receiving credit is an important motivation for me, how can I share the credit and still be fulfilled?
What will be the benefits to me if I use the window/mirror approach to leadership?
What will be the benefits for my team if I use the window/mirror approach?
We know from Gallup research that only 28% of employees are “actively engaged”, a staggering 53% are “disengaged” and 19% are “actively disengaged”. These numbers have drastic negative effects to the bottom line. But leaders who practice the window/mirror principle create a bond with their employees to help increaseemployee commitment and the organization’s bottom line. Leaders also start to see team members who are happier and more self-confident. The window/mirror approach to leadership builds trust, loyalty, and employee engagement throughout the organization.
Do you have any questions to add to our “mirror” list above? Can you think of any instances where you have successfully employed the window/mirror approach to leadership, or some instances where you wish you did? If so, I hope you will share your insights with us.
Having a coach is a powerful way to become more effective with the window/mirror approach. A coach will partner with you to help you uncover leadership blind spots, and steer you towards a more effective leadership approach. MSBCoach specializes in leadership and executive coaching. If you are interested in learning how to work with a coach and improve your leadership effectiveness, I invite you to contact us today to find out more.
Michelle Braden is the CEO of MSBCoach, an ICF certified business. Michelle is an ICF and TED certified coach and received her Advanced Human Behavior Certification and Wellness Coaching certification from the Leadership Institute of America. She is an advanced certified associate of Emergenetics, Int. and advanced trainer for DiSC. Michelle has worked with notables from Morgan Keegan, Capital One, the University of Virginia, General Dynamics, LexisNexis, and the City of Charlottesville, and has served in leadership, coaching and training positions for corporations such as Robert Half International and Retirement Unlimited Incorporated. She has written two leadership training manuals for The Church of God International and is a freelance writer for Thought Leaders Blog, Lead Change Blog, Leadership Courseware Blog, The Business Networker, and Forward/Adelante magazine.
Recently, I Skyped with a former co-worker. We were comparing our lives since we’d left the company where we both worked; much has happened in the past two years for both of us. As we compared our stories, we had many of the same experiences.
Along the way, I mentioned that an intuitive friend, years before I actually moved to Arizona, told me that it would be a man who helped me get to Arizona. At the time, I was working for a female boss, a really good one—a strong leader, for six years of my career. My co-worker noted that as she had built her career, she was surrounded by a lot of great female mentors who supported her, gave her great ideas, and in general helped her out along the way. But when push came to shove, it was a man who actually made things happen for her.
Here’s what’s interesting about this—the females in the stories were the same rank or higher than the men. But somehow, it was the male leader who made it happen. And that’s disturbing to me.
I’ve lived in the corporate world since 1978. In my early career, of course it was men who made things happen! There were very few females in positions of power. Those who were there had kicked, screamed, and sacrificed family life to get to where they were, and they weren’t likely to share the glory with some young woman just entering the fray.
But that was then, and this is now. The situations that happened with my colleague and I were in the past three years. So, what’s the excuse?
I’m a female leader… I’ve had people reporting to me since 1981. That’s a really long time. And I find myself wondering, did I do all that I could have? Have I made things happen for people? Have I built my centers of influence to be strong enough to be able to help people make moves, or am I that woman who folks go to in order to feel better, so they can get back up on the horse and ride?
Don’t get me wrong. There is something to be said for being the supportive female leader. And lives get changed for the better when we are surrounded by people who lift us up, rather than smacking us down.
When push comes to shove, female leaders, do we exercise our influence? Have we built enough credibility to be respected as a mover and a shaker? My challenge to you is, take a look around. Who have you helped and in what ways? Can you do more? Can female leaders work together to help people make the changes in their lives that set them on their highest and best path? I’d like to hear your stories about how you’ve helped, or were helped by a female leader.
Laurie
D Battaglia is a Career and Life Coach, and Co-Owner of Living the Dream
Coaches, LLC in Scottsdale, Arizona. She has a passion for working with women and
men who are ready to uncover their natural strengths and gifts to lead
themselves and others to play a bigger game in life. Laurie and Joseph
Battaglia are the stars of the Coaches Corner radio show on KXXT 1010 AM in
Phoenix, AZ. Find out more about Laurie and Living the Dream Coaches here: www.livingthedreamcoaches.com
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