Leadership Trends and Realities

Windows, Mirrors and Leadership

Michelle Braden, CEO of MSBCoach

As a leader, do you use a window/mirror approach?  This is a meaningful question for authentic and effective leaders to ask themselves.  When things are going well, and goals are being met or exceeded, a compelling leader will use the window approach.  The window approach transpires when a leader points out the window and says, “look out there… they did it… they are the reason for our success!”  On the contrary, when there is a failure or let down, the leader with integrity holds up the mirror and says, “I am responsible. Where did I fail to communicate, motivate, understand, or explain?”

When using the window/mirror approach, it is important for leaders to know their intrinsic as well as their extrinsic motivations.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to be valued and appreciated for the work you have done (and for some leaders this is an important source of motivation).  Nevertheless, it becomes your responsibility to share the glory once you step into the leadership role.

As leaders, let’s hold up the mirror with the following questions:

1. Have I ever taken credit when I shouldn’t have?
2. Were there times when I had the opportunity to share the glory and chose not to?
3. Have I ever pointed the finger at someone or something for a failure or a mistake?
4. What are three action steps I will take to use the window/mirror approach in my leadership?
5. Who can be an “accountability partner” to help me make sure that I am following through with these new leadership behavior patterns?
6. If receiving credit is an important motivation for me, how can I share the credit and still be fulfilled?
7. What will be the benefits to me if I use the window/mirror approach to leadership?
8. What will be the benefits for my team if I use the window/mirror approach?

We know from Gallup research that only 28% of employees are “actively engaged”, a staggering 53% are “disengaged” and 19% are “actively disengaged”.  These numbers have drastic negative effects to the bottom line.  But leaders who practice the window/mirror principle create a bond with their employees to help increase employee commitment and the organization’s bottom line.  Leaders also start to see team members who are happier and more self-confident. The window/mirror approach to leadership builds trust, loyalty, and employee engagement throughout the organization.

Do you have any questions to add to our “mirror” list above?  Can you think of any instances where you have successfully employed the window/mirror approach to leadership, or some instances where you wish you did?  If so, I hope you will share your insights with us.

Having a coach is a powerful way to become more effective with the window/mirror approach.  A coach will partner with you to help you uncover leadership blind spots, and steer you towards a more effective leadership approach.  MSBCoach specializes in leadership and executive coaching.  If you are interested in learning how to work with a coach and improve your leadership effectiveness, I invite you to contact us today to find out more.

Michelle Braden is the CEO of MSBCoach, an ICF certified business. Michelle is an ICF and TED certified coach and received her Advanced Human Behavior Certification and Wellness Coaching certification from the Leadership Institute of America.  She is an advanced certified associate of Emergenetics, Int. and advanced trainer for DiSC. Michelle has worked with notables from Morgan Keegan, Capital One, the University of Virginia, General Dynamics, LexisNexis, and the City of Charlottesville, and has served in leadership, coaching and training positions for corporations such as Robert Half International and Retirement Unlimited Incorporated. She has written two leadership training manuals for The Church of God International and is a freelance writer for Thought Leaders Blog, Lead Change Blog, Leadership Courseware Blog, The Business Networker, and Forward/Adelante magazine.

Who Am I Being That Gives Space For Others To Be?

Michelle Braden, CEO of MSBCoach

Recently, I was working with a client dealing with disappointments at work regarding how they were being treated and respected.  I have been working with this client for a while and was not surprised by the situation; however, my client was.  Through the course of the conversation, I asked my client the question, “Who are you being that gives others permission to treat you this way?”  I realized when I asked that question that I tapped into something more powerful than the moment I was in.
 
This question opened the door for a meaningful conversation.   It also opened my awareness of who each of us is “being,” that allows other people to “be” someone other than they would normally be.
 
We cannot control anyone’s behavior except our own; however,  we have strong influence through our behaviors.  For example, my husband and I have a friend who is able to turn even the worst of servers at a restaurant into gentle souls who would get him anything he needed.  We often tease him about this; however, there is an art to being aware of who we are in the world,  that gives space for others to be something we like or do not like.
 
Most of us mirror what we are “getting”.   Back to the poor server at the restaurant, my natural tendency would be to think, “What a poor server… they are in the wrong business…  their tip will certainly reflect the service they are providing.”  I am realizing, however, that I hold more power than to just be frustrated by some else’s poor behavior.  I have the ability to influence that person, to create a space where they can let their guard down and be their best.
 
I have discovered 10 things that can lend to creating a positive space for people to be in:

•  Show respect to people right where they are in life without trying to change them to be like you
•  Be kind
•  Smile
•  Be polite
•  Appreciate the small things
•  Show genuine interest in the other person
•  Practice good communication
•  Give without expecting something in return
•  Be grateful
•  Create a desire in people so they want to do well

I have also discovered 10 things that will lend to creating a negative space for people to be in:

•  Sarcasm
•  Impatience
•  Not valuing someone who is different from you
•  Being disrespectful in words and/or actions
•  An attitude of entitlement
•  Interrupting
•  Not showing interest in the other person
•  Being fake
•  Not clearly communicating what you want or need
•  Setting unrealistic expectations

 
Life and leadership are a journey.  I love it when I have an “aha” moment with someone else as I did with my client I mentioned above.  What about you?  What do you do to create a positive space for people to live into their own greatness?  What must you avoid doing that creates a negative space where people, ideas and dreams wither?

Michelle Braden is the CEO of MSBCoach, an ICF certified business. Michelle is an ICF certified coach and received her Advanced Human Behavior Certification and Wellness Coaching certification from the Leadership Institute of America. She is an advanced certified associate of Emergenetics, Int. and advanced trainer for DiSC. She has written two leadership training manuals for The Church of God International and is a freelance writer for Thought Leaders Blog, Lead Change Blog, Leadership Courseware Blog, The Business Networker, and Forward/Adelante magazine. She also serves as adjunct faculty at PVCC.

What Does Leadership Look Like Today

Michelle Braden, CEO of MSBCoach

In the past leadership was about command and control… remember “Atlas Shrugged”?

Today leadership looks much different. It begins with knowing yourself as a person as well as a leader (these two things should go hand in hand and be the same). An effective leader is aware that they have to understand themselves before they can understand others. Today’s leader takes self-awareness and learns to value and respect their own strengths as well as their weaknesses. Once a leader goes through this process for themselves, they can transfer this learning to others. In order for today’s leader to be effective, they have to value and respect people that are different from them. They appreciate what is learned from others and the gift it brings to the organization.

The “old school” of leadership may have been “control and command” but the truth is the only time the “control and command” style of leadership is effective is when we are in crisis. For example, the building is burning down and we need a leader to say, “Go this way and let’s get out and be safe”. Crisis leadership is sometimes necessary and is not the time for sharing ideas and collaborating on what to do next; however, this is not a style to use on a regular basis. People have always been able to think for themselves, even in the days when the “control and command” style of leadership was the only style valued. We “dumb down” our people if we are telling them everything to do… how to do it… solving all of their problems for them. We need to allow them to critically think, make mistakes, correct their mistakes, grow and move forward. It is the leader’s responsibility to make a safe and confident culture where sharing, learning and growth take place. This is what today’s leader does whether they are leading a Fortune 500 company or a small family business.

What have you found that works in your leadership? I would love to hear from you.

Michelle Braden is the CEO of MSBCoach, an ICF certified business. Michelle is an ICF certified coach and received her Advanced Human Behavior Certification and Wellness Coaching certification from the Leadership Institute of America. She is an advanced certified associate of Emergenetics, Int. and advanced trainer for DiSC. She has written two leadership training manuals for The Church of God International and is a freelance writer for Thought Leaders Blog, Lead Change Blog, Leadership Courseware Blog, The Business Networker, and Forward/Adelante magazine. She also serves as adjunct faculty at PVCC.

Are You Developing Your Leaders?

Michelle Braden, CEO of MSBCoach

The development of emerging leaders (ELs) is often overlooked or the EL is not given the energy needed for healthy growth to sustain leadership. To explore why it is important to invest time, energy and funding into ELs, we need to identify and understand their challenges.

Let's first identify the EL. The EL is typically a star performer. This is why we choose them for leadership. They show the ability to excel in a given area, be it sales, technology, customer service, etc. Star performers are used to being on top. Often this personal success has won them affirmation, bonuses and autonomy. Managing oneself to accomplishment is quite different than bringing an entire team to success. Herein lies the first mistake, seasoned leaders (SLs) make. SLs assume because an individual is a star performer they will make an excellent team leader. They then proceed to promote them, give them the keys to their new office, print business cards and think they are good to go... thus, unintentionally setting the EL up for failure.

There are ways to make this transition more successful for everyone. A good starting point is exploring with the candidate if leading people is what they want to do. Here are some questions to ask:

• Do you realize your time and energy will now go from your technical skills, you have excelled in, to interpersonal skills?
• Your time and energy will be divided (this will depend upon all this position they will oversee‐‐ such as: long‐term planning, strategy, budgets, motivating the team, keeping numbers up, hiring, meetings, etc)
• How do you see your days being different?
• How do you plan to transition from peer to manager?
• Do you have leaders, mentors or family members you trust and whose advice you value, to be a sounding board for you during this transition?

I am sure you can come up with many other questions. The principle here is to go through this process before promoting someone into leadership. There is nothing more demoralizing than to go from a star performer to poor leader. It is our responsibility as senior leadership to ensure this doesn't happen.

Once you feel comfortable promoting the EL, it is important to help them begin their leadership journey. They will make mistakes and need to know this is part of the process. The goal is to learn from mistakes and then move forward. If the EL is not comfortable coming to the SL for advice, it is important to make sure they have someone to talk with. Often, although the EL says they will come to the SL, be aware they most likely will not. Do you remember your first leadership position and the challenges that came with it? An EL fears if they show uncertainty it will be perceived as weakness and their ability will be questioned, creating doubt. A coach or outside mentor is often the better choice. The goal is to create a safe environment where the EL can get sound advice and a sounding board to work through their challenges and opportunities.

It is important to help EL first develop self‐leadership. In order for a person to lead others, they must have:

• self‐awareness
• know their personal values
• motivations
• work‐life balance
• a network to support and be honest with them
• be grounded as an individual.

Once this foundation is built, an EL can move on to team‐leadership to empower others. A SL needs to teach self‐leadership before team‐leadership. As a new team leader, an EL will need to learn things such as:

• how my self‐leadership affects my team leadership
• communication
• conflict resolution
• meetings with purpose
• motivating your team
• no favorites
• hiring smart
• networking

A SL should not take for granted the EL already knows this information when they usually do not. Leaders are not born, they are taught.

Michelle Braden is the CEO of MSBCoach, an ICF certified business. Michelle is an ICF certified coach and received her Advanced Human Behavior Certification and Wellness Coaching certification from the Leadership Institute of America. She is an advanced certified associate of Emergenetics, Int. and advanced trainer for DiSC. She has written two leadership training manuals for The Church of God International and is a freelance writer for Thought Leaders Blog, Lead Change Blog, Leadership Courseware Blog, The Business Networker, and Forward/Adelante magazine. She also serves as adjunct faculty at PVCC.